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WEIGHT LOSS SHOEHANS: obviously they have rhinestones unlike those other “fitness” footwears on the market

November 28, 2009

Well I know that around this time of holiday season, many of us start losing track of the things we eat and before we know it we are having to lose lbs FAST.  This SHOEHAN is both glamorous (note the upper-class quality bedazzle rhinestones) and practical, as when it detects you have surpassed your goal weight of anywhere between 92-101 lbs depending on your height after perhaps one too many frozen strawberry daiquiris which is my favorite drink, it will clamp to your ankle and also clamp you to the street or sidewalk. This will do several things for you i.e.:

1. it will not allow you to go get any more food!!!

2. it will alert you in a way that is difficult to ignore so you are truly aware of your mistake

3. due to the fact that I imagine these SHOEHANS will be very popular in my line, everyone will know what has happened to you weight/eating-wise once you are clamped and you will feel embarrassed- this will be both a punishment for you and will also teach you never to gain lbs again!

these SHOEHANS feature weight gain prevention techniques through a tire boot device, the modernized scale acts as a sexy stiletto heel and also a weight measurement device so the SHOEHAN can accurately detect any weight of over between 92-101 lbs depending on your height and let you know immediately to go on a long term diet of lemon juice and baking soda which is what i recommend and is my diet of choice always.

p.s. I am not so stupid or crazy as to clamp you to the street forever, the SHOEHANS ALERT CLAMP, TIRE BOOT STYLE, will let you walk free after only 45 minutes.


THE CANADA HONORARY SHOEHANS: Yes Santa Claus lives in The Canada which makes it a very special place deserving of a personalized pride SHOEHAN

November 25, 2009

Well I just found out some things like there are people from Aisa in The Canada, which I didn’t know as I pictured it to be prime Caucasian. (Caucasian means “white people”.) These SHOEHANS combine all important things about the country of The Canada which include a snowshoe function for those cold weather days.  Also there is a flag waving from the shoe, I am impressed with The Canada’s liberalness in that they allow a MARIJUANA leaf as their national mascot.  How riskay!

And of course the national animal the beaver, who is greeting his native people of The Canada by saying hello in their native language, which of course is “Olé!” It will definitely create Jingoness.

Lastly and most importantly there is a duel functionality in that we have a sneaker for comfort PLUS a stiletto heel for sexual enhancements to your SHOEHANS and to allow you to flirt with confidence. I hear many men in The Canada prefer sexual flirting in the same way they do in America.

well all I can say here is Olé to all the people of The Canada! Weather-friendly and prideful, these will make your girls so JEALOUS at whatever version of Chili's happy hour you may have!

CANKLEHANS – I know and understand the dilemma that may come with having cankles which is that you want to wear those clear boots but your cankles are not flattered!

November 23, 2009

The way these CANKLEHANS SHOEHANS work is demonstrated through the high tech animations below, but basically there is a sliding door on these for TWO reasons:

Reason 1: The sliding door will cover up the stretchy elastic I have inserted into the ankle area of the boot to allow for your larger cankles to fit through.

Reason 2: The sliding door will cover your unsightly cankles as you still luxuriate in thinner girls’ clear boots styles.

so many girls are into the see through boots because as is known, see through is sexy. but what to do if you have cankles? these boots with sliding doors to cover up your unsightly cankles will do the trick!

CHILI’S SHOEHAN: A tribute to the restaurant where I see confident girls gathering with their co-workers, friends, et. al to experience happy hour and empowering

November 20, 2009

this Chili’s SHOEHAN will emulate my more pricey style of wearing lots of apparel and footwear with logos i.e. I like to wear the Gucci logo and the Louie Viutton logo all around, but that is not practical financially for my SHOEHANS customers and I know this. Here you can wear an amazing logo that shows your style and loyalty to my favorite restaurant and place for frozen margaritas.

A lot of people said "Hey if you love Chili's SO much why don't you make a Chili's SHOEHAN", first I thought I can't make a SHOEHAN out of food aka disintegratable product, it will never stand up to the Long Island snow. But then it clicked and here is my artisitic footwear vision expressed via Chili's arte.

HYPERCOLOR SHOEHANS: they come with your personal custom science tools so you can adjust the color blends

November 19, 2009

these hypercolor SHOEHANS were made possible by the leading 10th grade chemistry teacher by my Long Island Estate, the beaker will connect to your shoehan to update the hypercolor and dually act as a sexy heel for girls night out that will give you confidence. there is also a bunson burner that i included in the design even though the chemist told me not too due to dangerous possibilities. however i know that the SHOEHANS girls will figure out the symbolism from the burner as equal to HOT!


DREIDEL + GELT JEWHANS SHOEHANS, this is the second design in my Hanuku collection special for this upcoming wintry holiday for Jewish girls

November 18, 2009

The people in my Long Island township have been strutting their stuff in platform clogs and believe me I have noticed, how could I not notice all of the hot girls looking tan and largess in their platforms at every Chili’s in the realm! I surveyed these girls and I found out that these platforms give them such confidence to flirt with men like bartenders AND the managers of the restaurants themselves. What better way to spread confidence than by introducing these special Hannucuh platforms just in time!

why don't you look closely and you will see how I replaced the gilden studs with real life chanuku chocolate flavored gelt, it adds to the spirit. Also, of course the dreidels are reversible, and I will be providing many color options like red and blue as well. Maybe orange?

PIPERLEMON SHOEHANS. I am probably going to be combining my marketing savvy with piperlemon, the shoes website that Rachel Zoo works on so I am “cutting the red ribbon” if you will on this deal with this special edition SHOEHAN

November 18, 2009

Obviously you can see the lemon "accoutremont" on the top but look closer so you don't miss that the buckles are also made of lemons, which bring some extra yellow pizzazz, soon you will be seeing these at piperlemon which is at